You're In The Room

Hello there. Molweni. Molweni:)

I hope you’re well, and happy new month! 😊

Thank you so much for embracing the new Book Corner segment I introduced last week. Your feedback and engagement meant a lot, and I’m excited to share that we’ll definitely be doing more of them.

This week’s topic is a bit heavier. I’ve been sitting with it for a while, unsure how to approach something so layered and personal, but I know it’s something many of us have faced at one point or another. I want us to talk about imposter syndrome: what it is, how it shows up in our lives, and how we might begin to manage it when it creeps in.

Imposter syndrome is the internal experience of doubting your abilities or feeling like a fraud, even when you've earned your place through hard work and talent. It often shows up as a persistent fear of being “found out,” despite evidence of success or competence. For many, it’s not about actual skill, it’s about struggling to believe you deserve to be “in the room.”

What’s always fascinated me about imposter syndrome is that most of us know exactly what it is, yet when it creeps up, we forget its very definition and believe the lie. We overlook all the evidence of our competence and success, and instead buy into the false story. I’m intentionally using the word “lie” because what imposter syndrome tells us is often not true.

Here’s the key point of today’s post: while imposter syndrome convinces us we don’t belong, that we’re frauds, we somehow forget that we’re experiencing all these doubts while we’re actually in the room. Think about it, often, we question ourselves and our abilities right there, sitting in the very room where we feel out of place. When I say it out loud, it sounds kind of crazy, doesn’t it? That's because it is.

I used to believe that imposter syndrome was something I could simply outgrow or outwork. But to my surprise, no matter the phase of my career, it has always found a way to creep back in. In a previous role, I was part of the leadership team in our department; one of only two women and the youngest member. I had earned my place, and the work I consistently delivered, backed by a track record of successes, solidified that fact. Yet, every other week, imposter syndrome would make me doubt my place.

It was especially intense during our monthly meetings with the leadership of our business unit. I was never unprepared; my affairs were always in order. Again, I had rightfully earned my seat at the table. But despite that, every other month, imposter syndrome would whisper doubts about my contributions and value. And every other month, without fail, the evidence of my high standard of work and meaningful output would clearly validate my worth. Yet, in those fleeting moments, I would choose to believe the imposter syndrome’s lie, ignoring the very proof in front of me.

Since this is a safe space, I’ll be honest, I haven’t completely figured it out. I still struggle with imposter syndrome. But one small, yet powerful thing that has helped me is the gentle, constant reminder: I’m in the room. Denying these feelings or pretending they don’t exist has never worked for me. Positive affirmations and mantras help sometimes, but other times they fall short.

What’s truly made a difference is centering myself in the moment, making a conscious effort to recognize, almost like a mental checkpoint, “I am in the room.” This awareness helps me catch imposter syndrome in its lie. In those moments when I succeed in gently guiding myself out of self-doubt and back to reality, I realize that I’ve been doubting the very thing I’m actively living; my presence, my efforts, and my achievements. And that realization, even if brief, is incredibly powerful.

Another strategy I’ve only recently started using is keeping a record of my wins. Nothing elaborate, just a list of meaningful achievements captured in shorthand, somewhere easily accessible. The idea is simple: imposter syndrome is a lie, and anything that helps you debunk that lie can be a powerful tool.

Maybe this particular approach won’t work for you, but I encourage you to take the time to figure out what will. Because when imposter syndrome comes knocking, and it will, you’ll want to have something in place to help you manage it. Left unchecked, imposter syndrome can make you second-guess yourself in critical moments. It can cause you to shrink back, hesitate, or even miss out on opportunities you’ve worked hard for and absolutely deserve.

The reason this record of wins works for me is that it helps break the emotional spiral. When imposter syndrome hits and I start to feel overwhelmed or incompetent, looking at tangible proof of my accomplishments helps ground me. It doesn't magically make the feelings disappear, but it gives me something solid to hold on to; evidence that challenges the lie and reminds me of what I’ve already done. These not only remind me that I'm in the room but help solidify why I'm in the room.

Based on my observations (and I stand to be corrected), imposter syndrome often shows up more in people who are actually performing than in those who aren’t. So experiencing it is not a sign of weakness or failure. On the contrary, it’s often an indication that you’re pushing boundaries, stretching yourself, and contributing to meaningful work.

One major fuel for imposter syndrome is comparison. Try to steer away from comparing yourself to others, it rarely helps and often makes you feel worse. This is especially true in the age of social media, where we’re constantly exposed to curated snapshots of other people’s success. Instead of viewing those posts as a benchmark, try to see them as personal celebrations, not invitations to cross-examine your own journey. Strive to focus on your progress.

If you have access to safe spaces where you can talk openly about imposter syndrome, use them. Speaking about it can loosen its grip and remind you that you’re not alone because you’re not. So many people feel exactly the way you do.

And remember: imposter syndrome doesn’t have to cripple you. You can feel it and still show up. You don’t have to wait until you feel confident to contribute. You can speak up, lead, and make an impact, even if imposter syndrome is whispering in your ear. What matters is finding ways to ground yourself in those moments. A simple reminder, I’m in the room, can be enough to shift your perspective.

Finally, one thing that’s helped me is learning to sit in my wins, instead of immediately rushing to the next thing. Let your wins land. Pause to acknowledge what it means to have made it to this point. Celebrating your progress isn’t arrogance, it’s an antidote to the lie of fraudulence.

Imposter syndrome may not be something we ever fully outgrow, but it is something we can learn to manage. It doesn’t have to define you, and it certainly doesn’t have to stop you. The fact that you feel uncertain doesn’t erase the fact that you’re already in the room, and that matters. You didn’t sneak in. You weren’t handed a seat by mistake. You’ve earned your place through work, persistence, and ability.

So, when imposter syndrome starts to whisper its familiar doubts, pause and remind yourself: I’m in the room. Say it as many times as you need to. Let it anchor you. Let it pull you back to the truth.

You belong, not because you feel like it every day, but because you are already here, contributing, learning, and growing. And that is enough.

Have an intentional and blessed week.

Lots of love,

Zizo